ClassicCar

(With apologies to C. W. McCall)


Now wouldn't y'all just love to see something like this in your local paper.

I were thumbin' through the want ads
In the Memphis Commercial Appeal
When this classified advertisement caught my eye
It said take immediate delivery
On this '47 Hudson Half ton pickup truck
We'll sell or swap for a hide-a-bed an' thirty five bucks
Call 358-4672 and ask for Bob

Well I called Bob up on the telephone
He says "Hello this is Bob Speakin'"
I says is this here the Bob got the pickup truck for sale
He says "Yeah" I says where are ya
He says "seventy nine east on county twelve
Turn right on the one lane gravel road,
You can park in the yard, beware of the dog
Wipe yer feet off, knock three times'n bring yer billfold

Well we all went past the chicken house
Through the hog pen and down to the tractor shed
And then wound up in back of the barn in afield of cow pies
And settin' right there in a pool of grease was a half ton Hudson pickup truck
With a nineteen sixty license plate
A bumper sticker that says vote for Dick
And a Brillo box full of rusty parts
And Bob says "Whadaya think?"

Well I kicked the tire and then got in the seat
And set on a petrified apple core
And found a bunch of field mice livin' in the glove compartment
He says "her shaft is bent and the rear end leaks
You can fix 'er quick with an oily rag
Use a nail to start her, I lost the key
Don't pay no mind to that whirin' sound
She'll use a little oil, but outside of that she's cherry

I says what'll it take
He says "whadaya got"
I says twenty eight dollars and fifteen cents
He says "you got a deal, sign here
I'll go get the title an' a can full of gas
I put the nail in the slot and fired her up
And she coughed and belched up a bunch of smoke
And I backed her right through the hog pen into the yard

Well Frank jumped in and bit my leg
And I beat him off with a crowbar
He jumped on out an' the door fell off
And the left front tire went flat
I jacked it up and patched the tube
And Frank tore a piece of my shirt off
Then Bob come out an' called him off
Says "you better get on outta here

Hudsonly,
Alex Burr
Memphis, TN